Decisions of a woman

I decided something had to change since my feelings changed so many times I don't even remember. I will cut with the past, all the past soon. But first I must be sure that part of that past is not part of my future as well. I also decided to keep a special friendship but to change the kind of "special" part to a less complicate and bonding thing. I will go in a part of Italy I have never been to. I will go alone but I will meet someone part of my past to understand what makes me think about incences and musics, constant eyes in my mind as well as rememberings. Is it a special bond or a fantasy? Is it gone or yet to come? Was it nothing but something or something but nothing? Is it all in my mind or is it in our souls?Do I feel what I want to feel or what we both feel?With the help of the Goddes I will find out if it was destiny or something different.
I am sure this post will cause confusion and surprise to my special friend but he will understand that life and feelings are like diamonds, never perfect, always showing new shiny faces.